Question by BoomBoom: How to improve low self-esteem?
So I want to know if there are ways to deal with low self-esteem or even a way to conquer it. I recently found out that I exhibit all the signs of low self-esteem and with school coming back I don’t know how I’m going deal with it while being around people constantly.
People tell me I’m pretty, beautiful, cute hot all the time. They say I have a great body blah blah blah but somehow it’s like deep down inside I’m so paranoid that everyone is lying to me. I have a lot of friends and they’re all great but I don’t think I could talk to anyone about what I’m going through. I put on this confident exterior so that no one can find out how I really am on the inside.
I have what people call “the ugly duckling syndrome” where when I was a child, I was very tom boyish, horrible haircut, braces, acne, a little overweight and bad posture. Since then, I’ve grown into my nose, lost a lot of weight after my growth spurt, all the baby fat from my face was gone, my acne cleared, I had straight teeth and my hair is not as unruly as before.
I do realize I’m a lot better looking than before and I’d never want to relive that period of time in my life but I still feel the need to be perfect, you know?
I know people should like me for my personality and my morals but I have this idea that if I were perfect, everyone would like me and my life would be better and I’d be happier.
I don’t understand why I’m the way I am.
How did I develop this hatred and disapproval of myself?
I have a vague idea that this sprouted during my childhood with all the awkwardness previously mentioned but I think it’s also because my parents used to compare me a lot to other people’s children and that made me jealous, afraid of competition and self-concious.
Can someone please help?
I’d really like to get better and stop hating myself and hating other people because I’m jealous of the,.
I really really would like to get better. Thank you.
And please, no jokes. I’m really just looking for advice. Thank you.
Best answer:
Answer by Peter
by havig sex….
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look at your self and tell your self what the fuck is so bad in my life that i have to hate myself.
Get over it
no one is perfect
plain and simple
look up social anxiety and see if any of the symptoms sound familiar… if they do, then I would suggest you see a therapist and work on some cognitive behavioral therapy so you can teach your mind how not to think of yourself that way… you should see the therapist even if the symptoms don’t match you… a little behavior changing sounds needed
I know exactly how you feel! I struggle with this too, when someone gives a compliment, you don’t believe it. Like they’re just playing with you, like they don’t really mean it. I feel like I can’t talk to my friends about anything, because It will ruin the confident exterior I built up for myself.
I was fat, I had glasses, I had acne, and I had super short hair. I never ever want to be the old me ever again. My worst fear is that I will look like I use to, I lost a lot of weight by diet and exercise, I don’t have braces anymore, my face cleared, my cheekbones are more prominent, and I stay active.
I never ever ever want to go back to who I was. I run a tight ship when it comes to food, I count calories like money, and everyone says it’s not healthy how little I eat, but I don’t care. I would rather die than be 50 pounds heavier again. That urge, that need to feel perfect and be perfect never goes away for me. I weigh myself every single day to make sure I either weigh less or the same.
I think it’s because we aren’t stupid, we knew what we looked like and who we were, and we didn’t like it. And I think now that our standards for our self image is so high, that when we don’t meet them, we hate ourselves for it.
I feel terrible, because when I see someone who is severely overwheight I feel loathe, not towards them but towards me. Because I know where they are, and it’s where I’ve been.
hey everyone feels a lil down about themselves..but as long as your kind and cool then everyone will respect u! seriusly..its the inside that matters the most
no1s ever gonna be perfect so never set the bar that high .. but just remember to let your personality shine and things will fall into place 
You need to come to realize that you are a beautiful person inside and out. All people are equal from richest person to the poorest person, to the sexist to the ugliest. There are no differences , besides what’s inside your heart. If you believe that you have worth then you have worth. No one can give worth, but you. There is no point to hating yourself, it leads no where , but sadness and loneliness.And I can tell you from experience its’ no fun.
It takes less energy to hate oneself than to love oneself.
There are no perfect people , it’s impossible to be perfect. You can only be the perfect you, which from reading this you aren’t doing by hating yourself.
There’s no better you, then you, so be you.
i used to be the same way. im a male. worked on the outside and forgot the only real thing, the inside. one thing i learned is if everyone can validate you, they can also invalidate you. even though my parents are sweet, i was still alone. i was never good enough no matter what i did. working hard so my mom will eventually accept me. never happened. i started looking for inner peace, recommended to me by my friends. once you have the inside right, the outside will fix it self. your looks will not matter in a couple of years, since their will be another 20 year old girl replacing you. you need to love yourself. im still struggling but atleast im trying. here is a free link, to the book power of now. it will stop your mind from negativity, and your ego controlling your life.
http://www.ecomall.com/greenshopping/powerofnow.htm