Sep 2011 23

Question by StandW2Fists: I am working with someone, I could use advice: A friend?
of mine hide an “inner child” inside quite a while ago. I need advice on getting someone to “open up” emotionally.

As a child, this friend (an emotional type) was disciplined – in what I would consider harsh ways. The “old school” of thought is that “smacking” and a form of fear would lead to “respect”. This is the situation I am dealing with a friend, as an adult now.

My concern is that when a parent uses fear as a form of respect, sometimes the “fear” forms a type of dependance on the disciplinarian – but this would not be a true form of respect. It would be a reliance for approval.

In utilizing “fear” as a form of discipline … you take a chance on developing a dependancy or pushing someone away.

In the situation I am dealing with, it has created a bond between the parents and child, but it gets weird now. The nuturing parent created opposition in hiding favors for the child that the discplinarian was not privy to. This created a triangle affect. It created a type of “hidden inner child syndrome” combined with “prodical son attitude”. This situation caused an addictive personality to become reliant on other things rather than dealing with emotional issues.

What attempt could I use to break these walls down and find the “inner child”. Deal with the underlying emotional issues in a way that would be caring, kind and compassionate, without blame or putting anyone down?

Best answer:

Answer by blackbelt632
I realize that this is the psychology section but could you work in a little more psychobabble?
Without knowing the individuals how are we supposed to decode your question?

What do you think? Answer below!

3 Comments

  1. Just Livin My Life says:

    Well this ”question” fairly baffled me as you ”seem” to use the quotations alot and you’re not giving ”examples” or enough ”details”!

  2. thinkonit says:

    Hi. For years I have had guests “drop in” and chat. Soon they discuss things I am honored to be a part of. How they happen to “drop in” is no secret. I bake cookies. I serve them on a platter I have set aside for each of them. It is “their personal” platter. I never talk negative. I find something about their quality and mention it every time. ” How is your poem coming?” “That was an interesting thing you said last visit. I have been thinking about it.”
    I never “dig up by bringing up” That will happen.
    You have to really care about people to bring that “inner being” out. You will be surprised at how much of a mirror that will become.
    I never fail to ask them ” How would you do….this?” ” Have you ever repaired a broken lamp?” Ask that next time and see how that gets some one talking. Soon..if you really care, they will know it and share hours with you!

Leave a Comment

Powered by Yahoo! Answers

+(reset)-