Jan 2011 08

Question by intellectual dude: Is it rude to ask a person, “Do you have down syndrome”?
I met someone to sell them a computer I had advertised on the internet. Through e-mail and on the phone he appeared to be normal. When I finally met him though, at first I thought that maybe he might have down syndrome. But then I thought maybe not, since he was tall, had a job, and drove an SUV. But then I heard the way he talked. It sounded kind of like how Corky Thatcher talks, but he also used colloquial speech like I have never heard people with down syndrome use. He said

“It was all bikes and sh*t. That’s all it was. It was crazy.”

But then he said he was buying the computer for his daughter, which also made me think that he did not have down syndrome.

I’m very curious as to whether or not this guy has down syndrome. I was thinking of emailing him after our meeting, to ask him if he had down syndrome, but I didn’t know if it was rude. Now I’m going to meet up with him again to sell him something else. Would it be rude to ask him if he has down syndrome?
Ok, so how can I find out about this guy. There’s got to be a way of finding out then just asking him right out like that. Maybe if I worded it differently?

Shouldn’t people with down syndrome be proud of who they are anyway? They shouldn’t have to hide it, and we shouldn’t have to pretend they aren’t what they are.
I’m just interested in people with down syndrome in general. I thought that it would be great to find out that this guy had down syndrome. I want to see how far people with down syndrome have come in society. Maybe they have invented advanced medications now so that these people are no longer mentally handicapped?
No, I wouldn’t be offended if someone asked me if I had down syndrome. I would either know they were joking, or I would be freaked out and try to find out if I had it or not.

Best answer:

Answer by Tracy M
Yes it would be very rude.

Give your answer to this question below!

13 Comments

  1. Lisa W says:

    It’s not only rude but offensive! It’s none of your business what’s someone’s medical condition is.

    Edited to add: Since you are obsessed with down syndrome, why not contact these people http://www.ndss.org/ I’m sure they can use your help or satisfy your curiosity (nosiness). Whether someone is proud of who/what they are or not, they don’t have to prove it to you or anyone else. You should really mind your own business.

  2. pete says:

    Yes. It would very rude to ask him that. Don’t do it.

  3. foxyfaerie says:

    WTF does it matter to you?

    Mind your own.

  4. ? says:

    yes,its rude

  5. fluffyhead24 says:

    You sound like you have an obsession with this guy.
    Believe me if he were down syndrome you would be able to tell – absolutely no doubt whatsoever.
    So STOP obsessing over him – or do you have a hidden agenda?

  6. Daniel says:

    its not rude.. if he has it, and its noticable enough for you to question, he shouldnt be ashamed of it. as long as you dont approach it in a sarcastic manner where its embarrassing. there shouldnt be a problem. i mean you are doing business with the guy.. if its about money, i would find out all i could.. go for it.

  7. Angie K says:

    You’ve got to be kidding! Yes it would be rude!

  8. kes_dude_2000 says:

    Rude and prejudiced. Don’t even bring it up with him.

  9. jaimita says:

    Don’t ask. By the way, there is something called mosiac Down’s syyndrome. This is where only a certain number of the person’s cells have the extra chromosome 21 (which is what Down’s syndrome is.) These people can have normal intelligence but have health problems associated with Down’s and the classic physical traits. Or they can have the lower intelligence but look completely normal. Or any combo. Probably he just had a speech or hearing problem. But whatever it is, you can’t ask. Ususally if you were friends with him he would just tell you at some point, but it is rude to ask a stranger.

  10. Orion says:

    Dude, you got hit by the Sensitivity Police, ouch!

  11. old lady says:

    There are many levels of Down syndrome, from mild to severe. But asking him whether he has it or not is definitely out of bounds. If he wants you to know, he’ll tell you. Otherwise it’s a very personal and intrusive question. This has nothing to do with being proud of who is he (if, indeed, he has Down syndrome) but a question of respecting his privacy.

  12. Kristy C says:

    I think it would be best that if you are planning to be friends with this guy then just be friends with him. Then, after you get to know him better maybe it would come up in the conversation. I think this goes on the same lines as if someone has a missing tooth. You wouldn’t point out that they have the missing tooth because you wouldn’t want to offend the person. If this guy does NOT has Down syndrome or mosaic Down syndrome and you ask him if he does, then I think he would be offended by it. Think about how you would feel if someone asked you the same question. Would you be offended?

  13. Susan TenEyck says:

    What difference does it make to you how many chromosomes he has? What are you going to benefit by knowing whether or not he has any form of Down syndrome? Will it give you some justification for treating him or viewing him differently?
    Curiosity killed the cat.

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